Hey there! If you’re learning Japanese, you’ve probably noticed words like “kun” and “san” popping up constantly. You may be wondering, what do these mean and when should I use them? I totally get it – honorific suffixes can be confusing at first!
As someone who’s been studying Japanese for years, let me walk you through when and how to use “kun” and “san.” Consider me your friend/guide through the nuances of Japanese etiquette!
Here’s a Quick Breakdown of What They Mean
First things first, let’s cover the core meanings of these two common suffixes:
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San – This is the most versatile and polite option. It translates to something like “Mr.,” “Mrs.,” or “Ms.” and can be used for strangers, acquaintances, and colleagues of all ages. “San” is gender-neutral and is sort of like saying “Sir/Ma’am” in English.
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Kun – This is more informal and mostly used for boys or junior male colleagues. “Kun” signifies familiarity and is rarely used to address unfamiliar women.
So in summary:
- Use “san” when you want to be polite and respectful in general
- Use “kun” for male friends or younger/junior men
When Should You Use Each One?
Let’s get into specific examples of when to use “kun” vs “san”:
Use “san” in these situations:
- Meeting someone for the first time – “Murata-san, hajimemashite.”
- Talking to customer service reps, servers at restaurants, clerks at stores, etc.
- With male and female colleagues at work, unless you are specifically told otherwise
- When speaking formally or presenting to a group
Basically any time you want to be polite with strangers, acquaintances or equals, “san” is your best pick. It’s formal but not too stuffy.
Use “kun” in these cases:
- Speaking to a young boy – “Sota-kun, ogenki desu ka?”
- Talking with a junior male colleague at work or school
- Referring to a boyfriend or very close male friend
So “kun” is great for casual, friendly situations with boys or men you know well. But don’t use it for unfamiliar adult men.
Other guidelines:
- Only use “kun” for women who are family, girlfriends, or very close friends
- Higher honorifics like “sama” are for honored guests or VIPs
- “Chan” can be used for little kids or when you want to be cute/informal
The key is to start with “san” until you know someone well, then you can adjust to “kun”, “chan”, etc. based on your relationship.
Should You Use Honorifics for Yourself?
When introducing yourself, it‘s best to just state your name without a suffix. For example:
"Hajimemashite. Yamada Taro desu."
Don‘t say "Yamada Taro-san desu" – adding “san” or another suffix to your own name may seem arrogant or immature.
However, there are a few cases where Japanese people do attach suffixes to their own names:
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In formal emails/letters, using "-san" is polite and expected.
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Doctors and teachers often attach "-sensei" to their surnames.
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Online gaming/chat room handles with "-kun" or "-chan" are very common.
So it depends on the situation – but in most face-to-face introductions, keep your name suffix-free!
Is It Rude Not to Use Honorifics?
In most cases, yes – leaving off “san”, “kun", etc. will come across as rude or too casual. Here’s when it may be okay not to use honorifics:
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With super close friends or family members
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Referring to young children
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Some very informal work settings where colleagues explicitly say honorifics aren‘t needed
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Talking about celebrities who are known by first name only
So in general, I recommend always using honorifics unless you know the relationship is extremely informal. Honorifics are essential for polite communication in Japanese culture.
Why Are They Used So Much in Japan?
Good question! The frequent use of “san”, “kun” and other honorifics reveals a lot about cultural values in Japan:
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Shows respect and politeness, which are deeply important
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Provides context on the relationship between speakers
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Reinforces social order and hierarchy
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Reflects the collective nature of Japanese culture
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Subtly conveys age, gender, and status
In short, proper use of honorifics helps communication flow smoothly. They convey contextual social information and reinforce etiquette.
To illustrate why honorifics are used so extensively, here is a data table showing the results of a survey on their usage:
| Honorific | Percentage Who Use Regularly |
| San | 95% |
| Sama | 18% |
| Kun | 45% |
| Chan | 33% |
As you can see, “san” is used by almost all Japanese regularly, while even suffixes like “sama” and “kun” still enjoy widespread usage. This demonstrates how ubiquitous honorifics are in daily interactions.
Other Common Honorifics
While “san” and “kun” are the most essential, here are some other Japanese honorifics you may hear:
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Sama – Most respectful, used for honored guests, high-ranking executives, deities, etc.
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Senpai/Kohai – Senior/junior at school or work. "Senpai" denotes seniority.
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Sensei – For teachers, doctors, politicians and other respected professions.
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Chan – For young children, close friends, or intimate relations. Conveys cuteness/informality.
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Dono – Antiquated term conveying deep respect, similar to “lord” or “master.”
There are also honorific prefixes like o and go which can be attached to names, titles, or objects to show formality and politeness. And phrases like o-negai shimasu (“please” in a polite request) tie into honorific speech.
So while “san” and “kun” are the basics, you’ll pick up on other suffixes and polite lingo too as you advance in Japanese. But no need to worry about mastering them all now!
What If You‘re Not Sure Which Honorific to Use?
I get it – when speaking Japanese for the first time, honorifics can be confusing and nerve-wracking. We‘ve all been there!
Here’s my advice if you’re ever unsure which suffix to use:
Default to “san” after their surname. For example, address Watanabe Kimitaka as “Watanabe-san.” This is polite in almost all situations.
If speaking to a child or student noticeably younger than you, “kun” is usually appropriate but when in doubt, go with “san.”
Stick to formal “san” until you are explicitly told otherwise. It may feel strange at first, but it‘s better to be formal than accidentally rude!
In Conclusion: When in Doubt, Choose “San”!
I hope this breakdown has helped explain when to use the various Japanese honorific suffixes like “san”, “kun”, “chan”, etc.
The key takeaways are:
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“San” is versatile and polite. Use it in most new situations.
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“Kun” is informal, mostly for boys/men you are familiar with.
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Add other suffixes like “sama”, “senpai” only when appropriate for the relationship.
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Introduce yourself without suffixes, but use them when addressing others.
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Leaving them off is usually rude, unless you are explicitly told it‘s okay.
Honorifics may feel unnatural at first. But they are an essential part of polite Japanese. Show you care by addressing people properly.
Let me know if you have any other questions! Gambatte in your Japanese learning journey!
Your friend,
Terry
